i dont know why.

but please, let me keep this for now, for till i'm more sure of whether i need it;

feel it trickling away so slowly yet inevitably and at times i'm so numbed i dont think it'd even matter if i really, finally lost it, every last drop of it, but then at other times i remember what it had been like at its best and i feel like i've been dumped without a map in a foreign land now that i cant even stop it from walking out the front door as it pleases.
je le jure, ça me fait folie. S'il vous plaît, mon cher Dieu, donnez nous une autre chance

***
and stupid fb lags like hell on my stupider pc :(