its sad, how good things always have to end. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this fact of life. but one true thing is that today a huge part of my teenage life was concluded; the whole shooting and safra and seniors thing, I know that I’ve never been the safra kid who knows all the range ppl but still, its played a substantial role in my adolescence.

and I know its pretty selfish, to miss places and people partly due to your own desire to cling onto the past and not entirely for what they are themselves; but truth is a lot of times we’re rather egocentric and missing something because of what it represents to you in private, is just a manifestation of such an attitude.

AHHHHHHH. I feel quite very sad. but I will be okay soon.

***
sometimes during seemingly frivolous chatter I intentionally don’t look people in the eye, and just stare into the distance near their face or above their heads or at their shirt, because I am so afraid to see more than I want to discover in their eyes and find out more than I want to know about them. because sometimes a look exchanged can tell you so much more than words ever will, and sometimes these little moments of mutual understanding rattle me. its just surprising to realize. especially those times when I actually really want to look them in the eye (for whatever reasons), but am too apprehensive of what revelations might follow.

***
shallow thought of the day: NUMBER 9!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ heeheehee sexy much